Don't go skinny dipping and hop from pool to pool to hot tub to pool to pool and think that no one in your 17 story condo can see you

Because they can, and those two boys you met in the hot tub earlier actually came to the beach with their parents, not their friends. They will see you from their balcony and their dad will take photographs of himself with you and your fellow skinny dipping friends below in the background.

Oh, and as a double "don't", Don't ever drink two Four Lokos in one night again, even thought this was the second time that you've done that, and after the first time you did, you told yourself and your friends "Don't drink two Four Lokos in one night".

Don't get motorboated by a stripper and then makeout her

Because your friend told you to and some man in a fancy suit tells you he will pay you twenty dollars if you do. Then after you do the deed, the man never gives you the twenty dollars, yet you tell your friend that you gave said dollars to the stripper because you believed that she needed it more than you do, when in fact, you never actually got the twenty dollars in the first place.

And as a double "don't", Don't ever drink Four Lokos, again.

Don't play The Hills drinking game with Four Loko

What is Four Loko?

Definition courtesy of Urban Dictionary:

Extremely high abv (11/12%) caffeinated malt beverage that one ups its predecessor, Sparks both by coming in 23.5oz size and containing nearly twice the amount of alcohol. perfect for pregaming, but can easily result in blackouts and various kinds of embarrassing behavior.

Rules of The Hills drinking game

Drink whenever...

Anyone says "like" or "um"

There's awkward staring-at-each-other-in-silence scenes

Justin Bobby is wearing a hat of any sort (yes, hoods count)

There's a dramatic music montage

Spencer says "bro"

Someone's wearing a scarf despite that it's 90 degrees outside

There's a scene showing traffic

There's a scene showing anything that's totally random and has nothing to do with the so-called plot of the current episode.

You see LC's mustache

Additional rules, etc etc etc