Don't show up to free drinks at 8 PM.

Because you will be drunk by 10 and end up getting your card declined after free drinks ends, but being so drunk you don't realize the bartender was being nice and let you off the hook, so you will go outside, sit in the parking lot by yourself and start crying for no reason. And then a complete stranger will sit down and talk with you about how he was having a rough night too.

And it will be embarrassing.

Don't cry hysterically on the phone with your best friend while trying to find food in your fridge after chugging 5 Crown & Sprites within 30 minutes

Because you will knock out the entire first shelf out of your fridge spilling food and your roommate's giant cup of Monsoon all over your kitchen floor. The next morning you'll wake up next to a cup of lemonade somehow still perfectly balanced and in tact on your bed. Then, you exit your bedroom and find out that the entire hallway is sticky. And at your final destination, you walk to the kitchen and see a mountain of half used paper towels erupting from the trashcan and a shattered jar of spaghetti sauce spilled all over the floor.