Don't day drinking of you want to rage through the night.

You will most likely end up crying by midnight and laying on your floor eating chicken and drinking sweet tea.

Don't leave your purse, keys, money, jacket, and leggings in the room that your friend is having sex in.

You'll be stuck in your housewife costume of a tiny slip stained by beer and an apron walking down the most luxurious street in Buenos Aires and you'll be stuck like that until noon.

Don't drink whiskey. (again)

You will always drink more than you should and then cry hysterically because someone nearby you is holding a knife to cut fruit and you think they're going to use it to cut you.

Don't take a nap in the middle of the day. 15 minutes before your classes.

You will not wake up until dinnertime. And you will miss three hours worth of education.

Don't fart as loud as you want in the middle of the night because you know your roommate is sleeping and won't hear.

Because you never know when your fart will actually be loud enough to wake her up. And when it is, that will be an awkward moment at 4 am that you could've easily avoided.

Don't announce to your advanced poetry workshop that you hate poetry and think it's the f'd up version of prose.

Your classmates will judge you for the rest of the semester.

Don't drink until 8am when you have a 17 hour bus ride the next day.