Don't pee on top of an oyster bed

Because you will fall on top of it and slice your hand open while trying to run away from neighborhood security, and as you frantically get into your friend's car with your pants halfway down your legs. You will realize you dropped your phone on the way to their car. You tell them "it's ok! We'll get it tomorrow!". After you're dropped off at their house, you run to your car and drunk drive back to the oyster bed where your phone is (You found it yay!) You think you're in perfect condition to drive home, but you blow out one of your tires during the trip and drive the rest of the way home on the tire rim. Hopefully your dad doesn't find out...